05 January, 2009

Movies I would like to see

My lady friend and I got through an awesome number of Christmas movies this year. Despite this herculean effort I find my appetite is not quite sated. Inspired by bad movies (of which I have seen many), here are some of my favourite movies that have never been made:
  • DeathVixen (aka Avenging Waitress)
    (1985, USA/Mexico) - Supernatural Revenge/Police Procedural
    'Coffee and... die!'
    A waitress returns from the dead to exact terrible revenge on customers of her small town diner. A grizzled veteran detective aims to stop her.
  • ElephanTitans
    (1989, USA) Medical Drama/Mystery/Adventure
    'With great limbs come great responsibilities'
    During a school camping trip a group of teenagers are struck down by a disfiguring illness. Their recovery is accompanied by incredible abilities. Will Andy Boudreaux discover the cause of their illness.
  • Cannibal Circus (aka Carnival of Cannibals aka Midget Holocaust)
    (1980, Mexico/Spain/Italy/Germany) Horror /Adventure
    'Three rings of horror!'
    After the circus comes to town, one beautiful college co-ed after another disappears in horrible, yet clownish circumstances. Will Reporter Marcy Chance prove her dreadful theory or will she become another victim of… the Cannibal Circus.
  • Zorro V Frankenstein
    (1978, Spain/Uruguay) Horror/Adventure
    'Only Zorro can save the little vilage' (sic)
    Dr. Frankenstein unleashes his creature on a poor Mexican town. Only one man can stop him.
  • Vengeance Four from the End of Time (aka Space Force aka Dimension Team)
    (1986, USA) Sci Fi/Action Adventure
    'They came to the present to save our future'
    A group of powerful soldiers from the future enlist the help of a ragtag bunch of high-school misfits to save Earth from an alien invasion.
  • Vampire Hookers from Mars (aka Space Hookers aka Creature di Desiderio aka Blood of the Insane)
    (1983, Canada/France/
    Italy/Luxembourg) Horror
    'Their lethal lust goes beyond the bounds of time and space!'
    A party turns into a night from hell, when aliens invade a college fraternity party.