11 June, 2010

Awesome Names of World Cup 2010: Part 1

Paraguay's Rodolfo Gamarra (above) scores in the qualifier against Brazil.

Now is the time for World Cup 2010, in South Africa!

It's arrival can only spell one thing... the presence of some awesomely-named footballers! This is how the World Awesome Football Names Cup 2010 will unfold.

The Group Stranges

Some teams have nothing to offer in the strangely-named stakes.
New Zealand is just such a team. So too are North Korea and South Korea. They will go straight out, leaving us to wonder if we ever saw them at all. Instead, watch out for referees Benito Archundia and Olegário Benquerença, moonlighting from their respective day jobs as lawyer and Insurance agent.

Despite the best efforts of George Welcome, Honduras will probably go out in the first round. Likewise for Marcus Tulio Tanaka of Japan. Algeria will make a promising return to the World Awesome Football Names Cup with Gaouaoui (pronounced Ga-ou-a-ou-i) and Boudebouz, but not enough to get out of their group.

And there are some big name casualties early on. Argentina have their poorest showing in many years, despite their talis-manager, Maradona, Pozo and Messi shining. Mexico also disappoint, except for their one genuine star, Aztec high priest, Cuauhtemoc Blanco.

The departure of England is another shock. Failure to invest in creepily-named youngsters is evident all over the pitch. A player with two surnames, Leighton Baines, and one with two first names John Terry, are just not random enough at this level. Tom Huddlestone and of course Dickens-novel-escapee Peter Crouch play well, but England miss out on a final sixteen place.

Next week: Sixteen of the Most Awesomely-Named