09 July, 2010

Awesome Names of World Cup 2010: Part 5

Freak Scene

Captained by Skrtel (born on the Klingon Homeworld),
Slovakia show strength and depth throughout the team. From Lubos Kamenar, Zabavnik, Hubocan, and Kornel Salata (which, by the way, is a delicous snack in Greece!), through Pecalka, Juraj Kucka, Zdeno Strba, to Holosko and Sestak, Slovakia look promising, and win through to the final, but their they face a veritable pantheon of unfortunate names.

Holland has taken the foolishly-named players of their European Awesome Football Names Cup 2008 campaign, marinaded them in strangeness and bred them with the unnatural, run their names through a word-mangler and served up a stew of uncanniness that would bemuse even the mighty Cthulu.

Stekelenburg, Boschker, Vorm, Van Bronckhorst, Ooijer, Heitinga, Edson Braafheid, Khalid Boulahrouz form a sturdy, if unsettling backbone. Afellay, Stijn Schaars, Demy de Zeuw (pronouced Dummy Duh Zeeoww!) and the implausible Rafael Van Der Vaart will be pulling the strange-strings in midfield and Dirk Kuyt, Eljero Elia and Klaas-Jan Huntelaar will dominate the odd-box. Quality will out, Awesomeness will win!

Golden Name: Waldo Ponce
, Chile

Awesomest-named Newcomer:
Nikita Rukavytsya, Australia